By Sharmila Chari, Ph.D. and Lt. Cmdr. Dierdra Oretade-Branch, DSW, LCSW, BCD, U.S. Public Health Service
Dec. 9, 2024

U.S. Army photo by Spc Vincent Levelev

You might have heard the famous saying from John Donne, "No man is an island,"¹ which means that we're stronger when we're part of a diverse community. Now, imagine the feelings when someone is frequently left out of a team party or is always the last to get selected for a group event. Being ignored or purposely left out by others can be hurtful and upsetting^2. From a young age, we build relationships that make us feel safe, secure, and mentally healthy. When we belong to a group that works well together -- like a good group of friends, a loving family, or a well-managed workplace -- we feel accepted, well, and stronger. However, there is a sense of distrust and anxiety when we are left out or excluded from the community. This act of being ignored or left out is called ostracism³.

Purposely excluding someone is like rejecting them and is a subtle form of bullying, which can have negative psychological effects on both the person being excluded and the person doing the excluding⁴. In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General issued an advisory on the loneliness epidemic in the United States, which can have negative effects on mental health and even increase the risk of premature death⁵. You might think this doesn't apply to the military, but research shows ostracism may have serious consequences, especially in military settings⁶. These negative effects can be even worse during high stress times, like combat or deployment, and can be linked to PTSD and increased risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors^7,8. Healthy relationships are important for a strong and resilient military community.

So how can you recognize signs of ostracism?

Some common patterns include:

• Team member is left out of group activities or invitations
• Team member is not included in discussions
• Team member is consistently isolated

While there might be times when this is just an oversight, a repetitive pattern of exclusion is a sign of ostracism.

How can you counter ostracism?

To counter ostracism, you can:

• Share the six tips to combat ostracism with your friends, family, and peers
• Learn skills and gain knowledge; this article on preventing harm from ostracism is an additional resource to read and share with friends family and peers
• Engage with team members and help them connect with others who share their interests
• Encourage your team to support each other during times of stress
• Be respectful and avoid abusive behavior like ridiculing or scapegoating
• Address ostracism immediately if you see it happening and talk to your supervisor or chain of command if necessary

If you or a loved one needs additional support, contact the Psychological Health Resource Center 24/7 to confidentially speak with trained health resource consultants. Call 866-966-1020 or use the Live Chat. Remember, 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support via phone or chat for people in distress, resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. For the Military/Veterans Crisis Line, dial 988 and press 1 or text 838255. You can also chat online. Are you calling the Military/Veterans Crisis Line from overseas? The country code to reach the United States will be required for each of these numbers, depending on your location. 

• Europe, call: 844-702-5495 or DSN 988 
• Pacific, call: 844-702-5493 or DSN 988
• Southwest Asia, call: 855-422-7719 or DSN 988

References

1. Donne, J. (1987). Devotions upon emergent occasions. Oxford University Press, USA.
2. Psychological Health Center of Excellence. (in progress). Ostracism in the Military. Evidence Brief.
3. Williams, K. D., & Nida, S. A. (2022). Ostracism and social exclusion: Implications for separation, social isolation, and loss. Current Opinion in Psychology, 47, 101353.
4. Ayoko, O. B. (2022). Ostracism, bullying and psychological safety. Journal of Management & Organization, 28(2), 221-225.
5. Office of the Surgeon General. (2023). Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation: The US Surgeon General’s Advisory on the healing effects of social connection and community. US Department of Health and Human Services. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK595227/.
6. McGraw, K. (2016). Gender differences among military combatants: Does social support, ostracism, and pain perception influence psychological health? Military Medicine, 181(suppl_1), 80–85.
7. Wesselmann, E. D., Ispas, D., Olson, M. D., Swerdlik, M.E., & Caudle, N. M. (2018). Does perceived ostracism contribute to mental health concerns among veterans who have been deployed? PloS One, 13(12), e0208438.
8. Chen, Z., Poon, K, DeWall, C. N., & Jiang, T. (2020). Life lacks meaning without acceptance: Ostracism triggers suicidal thoughts. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: Interpersonal Relations and Group Processes, 119(6), 1423–1443. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000238

Sharmila Chari, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist by training. She is currently serving as a contracted senior scientific advisor at the Psychological Health Center of Excellence. She has experience in psychological health research portfolio management, program development, conducting research and evaluation for serious mental illnesses and substance use disorders, equitable mental health care delivery, and trauma-informed programs.

Lt. Cmdr. Dierdra Oretade-Branch is a board certified clinical social worker and lieutenant commander in the Commissioned Corps of the United States Public Health Service. She is a subject matter expert at PHCoE and specializes in military and forensic social work within the civilian, veteran, and active-duty service member populations.