How to Cope with Common Causes of Loss

Loss is a common part of life - in and out of uniform. When thinking about examples of loss, the death of a loved one may come to mind. However, you and your family might experience feelings of loss for a variety of reasons. Some common causes of loss include:

  • Relationship difficulties and divorce
  • Distance from friends and support networks due to frequent moves
  • Separation from family due to deployments or long-term training
  • Injury or chronic pain that may limit or prohibit leisure and work activities

These common forms of loss can present new challenges. For example, through divorce you may lose a source of social support and your identity as a spouse. While such experiences can be difficult, plenty of supportive resources are available to help you cope.

Reactions to Experiences of Loss

Everybody experiences loss differently, but common reactions include:

  • Sadness or depressed mood
  • Worry or anxiety
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Irritability
  • Low energy
  • Feelings of loneliness

Intense or lasting reactions to loss can negatively affect your personal life of interfere with your military duties. For these reasons, it's important to seek support, especially if what you experience interferes with your functioning or lasts longer than a few weeks. 

Healthy Ways to Cope With Loss

There are many healthy ways to cope with loss, including:

  • Don't compare your loss to that of others. It is important to recognize all forms of loss. Each person experiences loss differently and will react differently. Whether you are coping with the death of a loved one or the loss of friends after a move, the feeling of loss can cause an impact. 
  • Communicate with loved ones. Let them know how you feel. Discuss ways they can help. This helps reduce the impact of potential reactions like irritability on family relationships.
  • Stay connected. Friends and family support decreases stress. Informal socializing or local support groups for families facing similar challenges can help. Social media can also help you stay in touch with old friends, meet new people, and access important resources. 
  • Get involved in your passions or hobbies. Find activities that you enjoy such as art, book clubs or sports. This can help you find fulfillment and build your support system by meeting new people.

It's also important to avoid unhealthy coping behaviors like alcohol and drug use. These can make your negative reactions worse or last longer.

Helping Others with Loss

If a loved one has experienced a loss, share some of the above tips and encourage them to seek support. Children can be especially vulnerable to experiences of loss and may have unique needs depending on their age. Fortunately, child-specific resources are available below. Seek additional help if your child experiences symptoms that are interfering with their daily routines or schoolwork, or that don't improve over time.

If you or a loved one needs additional support, contact the Psychological Health Resource Center 24/7 to confidentially speak with trained health resource consultants. Call 866-966-1020 or use the Live Chat.

Additional Resources:

Sources:

  • Aquino, T., Brand, J. E., & Torche, F. (2022). Unequal effects of disruptive events. Sociology compass, 16(4), e12972. https://doi.org/10.1111/soc4.12972
  • Cozza, S. J., Hefner, K. R., Fisher, J. E., Zhou, J., Fullerton, C. S., Ursano, R. J., & Shear, M. K. (2020). Mental health conditions in bereaved military service widows: A prospective, case-controlled, and longitudinal study. Depression and anxiety, 37(1), 45–53. https://doi.org/10.1002/da.22971
  • Fisher, J. E., Zhou, J., Zuleta, R. F., Fullerton, C. S., Ursano, R. J., & Cozza, S. J. (2020). Coping Strategies and Considering the Possibility of Death in Those Bereaved by Sudden and Violent Deaths: Grief Severity, Depression, and Posttraumatic Growth. Frontiers in psychiatry, 11, 749. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00749
  • Keeling, M., & Sharratt, N. D. (2023). (Loss of) the super soldier: combat-injuries, body image and veterans' romantic relationships. Disability and rehabilitation, 45(2), 209–219. https://doi.org/10.1080/09638288.2022.2026499
  • Kentor, R. A., & Kaplow, J. B. (2020). Supporting children and adolescents following parental bereavement: guidance for health-care professionals. The Lancet. Child & adolescent health, 4(12), 889–898. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2352-4642(20)30184-X
  • Li, J., Li, M., & Reid, J. K. (2022). Social support in bereavement: Developing and validating a new scale. International journal of psychology: Journal international de psychologie, 57(2), 306–313. https://doi.org/10.1002/ijop.12816
  • Ripamonti, E., Rostila, M., & Saarela, J. (2024). Bereavement due to child loss, divorce, and depressive mood in older age across European welfare regimes. SSM - population health, 28, 101721. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssmph.2024.101721

Updated July 2025